I am assuming that if you have arrived at this site, you are probably dealing with a porn addiction, or a compulsive masturbation addiction. So you may have already figured out that the above title is already true for you. You already get that rubbing yourself until the early hours of the morning is not the best way to get that “dream life” you love. It will not get you that relationship you yearn for, and it will not help you get onto that career path you are yearning for. But bear with me, because what I want you to walk away from in this article is a sense of how much more you can achieve in your life – it really helps when you are truly committed to leaving this addiction in the dust.
And for you guys out there who think that even “a little” bit of masturbation is fine (maybe it is), I want you to ask yourself what aliveness you are substituting your masturbation for when you get desire to reach downstairs.
I want to share a very personal challenge I have set for myself. A few weeks ago I was still masturbating about once a week. My justification was “a little bit is still fine, I’m just enjoying myself”. However, after I was done, I got very honest with myself – the thoughts going through my head were still me and that cute I saw at the bus stop earlier doing it outside, or even taking advantage of girls almost ten years younger than me (I’m 27, and rarely date anyone younger than me).
Something was not right. I am not this guy, and yet I was still giving these thoughts an amount of space that I really did not want to give them. I had to make a decision. What would I do? I decided that enough was enough – I was going to stop masturbating altogether…forever…like FOREVER! Boy, I sure did sweat when I made that decision…
So if I was going to stop masturbating altogether, I realized that I had to begin to see these urges I was having more than one week in a completely different light. How the hell was I to do that? For a few days I suffered. Have you ever been lying awake at night and just decide that you want to masturbate to actually get some sleep? Yep, we’ve all done that. Well let’s just say that I had some pretty intense nights that first week. I was still looking for my new way to see this masturbation urge in such a way that I would not need to masturbate at all.
Then one day, I went to work (yes, I have a day job to pay the bills…for now) and had to drive for 2 hours to get to the job. On my way there, my eyes were darting at every tit and ass-cheek on the road. Every woman I saw was not a woman, she was an object. It was driving me crazy. I kept asking myself “What is this trying to teach me? What is this trying to teach me?”
I realized almost a year ago that an intense feeling was just a lesson that had not yet had the chance to sink in. It was like the droplet of water that sits on top of a cotton shirt before it has a chance to sink through. For cotton, it naturally just allows the water to slowly sink in – it is pre-built to allow things to sink in. For human beings, we have a lot more trouble letting feelings in if we have not had the chance to practice doing just that.
As I sat in my car going out of my mind, I found my own answer: “This feeling was an inquiry”. Gasp. I relaxed, the feelings soaked through my body and away from my crotch. Suddenly, I could allow this feeling to slowly sink in and it was no longer a problem. Now, this may not be everyone’s ultimate answer. But I can assure you that treating these feelings as inquiries will help you to develop the kind of mind that will not react to these sensations, but rather help them to sink in without you fighting them.
So to finish the story. What did my inquiry reveal? It told me that I was really wanting to expand my business and start making money at other things…but that I was afraid. I was afraid to do anything really BIG and reach out to people because I didn’t want to be judged. If I had masturbated this feeling away, I never would have learned that lesson, and I never would have spread the word about who I was and what I was up to in the world – I would have stayed afraid.
How to let things SINK IN . . . in 3 Steps
- Locate where the feeling is in your body.
- Accept it for being there and ask it “What do you have to teach me?”
- Stay with it without reacting by feeling its texture, shape, hardness, location, color, movement.